Teaching Differences to Young Children
We published this post about the book Just Ask because, in our view, if framed with the disclaimer that no one owes anyone an explanation, it presents a learning opportunity for parents and children who are naturally curious about the differences of others to explore the diverse world of disability with compassion and genuine care. The author, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, is herself disabled, and wrote the book to provide support to children who, like her, experience life differently than their peers. We're aware, however, that others within the disability community believe strongly that this book can cause harm. At The Nora Project, we believe in amplifying disabled voices and centering their experiences. People with different disabilities and experiences may disagree about this particular book’s value, and we want to present you with a variety of points of view. You can read criticism for the book here and here.
Teaching children about human diversity is complex. As we continuously evaluate and revise our program materials, the Program Team at TNP is always looking for ways to introduce children to the breadth of human diversity, especially disability. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s children’s book, Just Ask!: Be Different, Be Brave, Be You! presents disability as a form of human diversity that is quite diverse itself. Justice Sotomayor introduces her readers to children with an array of disabilities, and she teaches the importance of compassionate curiosity - asking appropriate questions when you’re curious instead of avoiding something or someone out of fear.
This summer, we encourage you to gather your family together to read this story. As you reach the questions asked by each character in the story, pause and discuss the questions amongst yourselves. You can also download our Disability Resource Guide to deepen your discussion about disability as a form of human diversity and all the different ways people complete the tasks of daily life.
As you read this story together, be mindful of the fact that the burden of explaining disability to non-disabled people should never be placed on disabled people. We are all obligated to educate ourselves about differences. It is not the responsibility of marginalized people, especially of children, to educate us. This means that questions about diagnosis, medical questions, or other intrusive lines of questioning should be avoided in an effort to show respect to disabled people. However, we agree with the message of this book that we should not let differences or fears or discomfort get in the way of friendship. There are lots of ways to live. It’s important to approach those who are different from you, learn about them, and accept their differences without requiring an explanation.
Discussion Questions: In addition to discussing the questions posed by each character in the story, discuss whether you know any other friends or family members that can relate to these questions and what you’ve learned from getting to know them. You might also consider the following discussion prompts:
Why is it worth it to find out more about a person when we're curious or confused about them?
How does understanding the different ways people do things help us appreciate their uniqueness?
Are there topics we shouldn’t ask about? Why not? (Practice perspective taking!)
What makes you unique?
What makes your best friend or sibling or cousin unique?
After reading, take a moment to revel in the message Justice Sotomayor shares: we all have powers to share with the world. Have each family member think about their powers, then, grab some craft supplies and create a garden of flowers with the powers each member listed in the center of each. Assemble the flowers together to create a beautiful, unique garden that celebrates what makes your family unique and powerful!