"Don't Call Me Special" - Why Not?

The language we use around disability can be laden with hidden meanings. Our understanding of issues that are foreign to our everyday lives (such as disability) may be developed through bits and pieces of stories and reports that we have seen or read, and we appropriate the language used in those bits and pieces to create our frames of reference. But - what if the language is imprecise, or hurtful? What if the information is inaccurate? Whether we intend it or not, the effect of the language we use can be harmful. 

We want our children to learn about disability in a way that will promote empathy and openness to friendship with others who may not, on the surface, appear to be like them. So what can we do to begin the process of learning about disability and the language surrounding it in a positive and supportive manner? How can we help our children to avoid making assumptions that can be based on limited information and false understandings? Literature can be a rich environment that lends itself to instruction in a relaxed and enjoyable way. It can be one of the gateways to fostering understanding of topics that may be uncomfortable initially, through shared reading and discussion. Here is a book that can begin that journey for you and your child. 

The book “Don’t Call Me Special: A First Look at Disability” by Pat Thomas is a picture book best suited for children in preschool through Grade 2. This well-crafted book can lead to thoughtful discussions about language, assumption, and disability. Through colorful pictures and easy to understand text, children are led through a series of situations typical for children, such as recess. They are guided to an understanding of assumptions, how they can be inaccurate, and how to look at situations in new ways.

Read this book with your child (it can be found in many bookstores and online) or use the video above to watch a read aloud of the book. As you read, stop and talk with your child, answering the questions in the boxes that are found throughout the book. Remember to be open and accepting of your child’s comments. If they have misconceptions, use the scene from the story as well as any real life experiences they have shared with you to bring them to the point of recognizing their mistakes. 

When you finish the story, consider asking your child to write, draw, or tell a family member about a time when they made a guess about someone and they were wrong. How did that make them feel? How do you think the person they guessed about felt? Moving forward, when you spot situations that could be teaching moments, refer back to the story to help your child connect the situation to these concepts of inclusion and not making assumptions.

So, back to the issue of language and using the word “special.” Why not? Using the word “special” connotes a difference that is significant enough to render a separation between those who are deemed special and those who are not. Using language that continues to marginalize groups of people does a disservice to everyone. If we can teach children that everyone is more alike than different, and that making assumptions before meeting and getting to know people can prevent them from making new friends, we can move us all toward a more inclusive society. Using language that acknowledges differences while promoting an inclusive mindset will benefit everyone!